Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Hey, everybody, this is Shelly Hoffman, and I'm here with Sheila Olmstrom. Sheila, I met you at a Rotary meeting, right?
[00:00:09] Speaker B: Yes, yes.
[00:00:10] Speaker A: Do you remember, though, I said to you, I heard your name, like, over again and again and again, but I didn't have a face to put with. With the name.
[00:00:16] Speaker B: And now you do.
[00:00:17] Speaker A: Now I do. And just for some history, the reason I went to that is there's a really good friend of mine through Rotary and Smally that was supposed to make the meeting, and she ended up coming in on Zoom.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: So I ran into Ann at the Wood for charter night, and I thanked her for wanting to come to that meeting, because that's what brought me out of my house to go. And then I met you, and I told her how much we've connected since then, so.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah. And I did talk to her.
[00:00:43] Speaker A: Did you?
[00:00:44] Speaker B: During that meeting. Yeah. Zoom. So.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I like a lot of my Rotarian friends, but she's a super sweet.
[00:00:50] Speaker B: It's a great group.
It really is very interesting.
[00:00:53] Speaker A: And you're going back tomorrow, right?
[00:00:55] Speaker B: I am. For the lunchtime one. Yeah.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: It's a different crowd. Like, it's unfamiliar faces, but it's kind of a different. Different crowd.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: Yeah. So I'm excited.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, thanks for joining me on this podcast.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: Sure. Thanks for having me.
[00:01:06] Speaker A: You're absolutely welcome. I. I was kind of, again, listening to your story, and I'm. I said it. You did? An American Dream TV episode with me, which is airing soon, but I said it then. I'm gonna say it again.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: What?
[00:01:18] Speaker A: I think your catchphrase, even if it's not meant to be one, is the fact that everyone sitting in that room probably knows somebody that was impacted by dementia or Alzheimer's.
[00:01:26] Speaker B: Right. Absolutely.
[00:01:28] Speaker A: Is that something you've always said, or is it something you've just realized as you've gone?
[00:01:32] Speaker B: So that isn't something I've always said, but more and more the case, that is how it is.
And dementia is, like, we've talked about an umbrella term, and Alzheimer's is just one type of dementia.
[00:01:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:44] Speaker B: And almost everybody knows somebody who's affected by it, or they do, and they.
[00:01:50] Speaker A: Don'T realize they are, you know, So I did.
When you came to Rotary, you had said if anybody wants to go and get a baseline memory test.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Yes. Done.
[00:01:58] Speaker A: Right. Yes. And I'll ask you more about that later. But I did, because I thought you don't know what you don't know. Like, what am I. What am I forgetting? I Mean, we always forget, like, where we put our keys, or I'm always looking, like, tell my watch to tell me where my phone is.
[00:02:11] Speaker B: Right.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: But I mean, really, it's not something that you just wake up one day and years just, boom. It's a slow increase.
[00:02:17] Speaker B: It is. And it's easy. Right. It was not hard.
[00:02:20] Speaker A: Not hard. They're very good.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: They're very thorough.
[00:02:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And it was quick. You walked in, they took you right back. So. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I really. Because this podcast is really about the changes that we make in our life so that we're fulfilling the passions that we have. Right. So can you kind of start back, like, not like when you were 10. Right, right.
[00:02:39] Speaker B: I could.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: But kind of like going back to, you know, what led you into the direction of where you are now.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: So it's interesting because I don't think that we always end up where we thought we would be.
There's things that happen in our life that change the path of our trajectory forever.
And for me, that was when my mom passed away. My mom passed away when I was in my 20s and. And she had vascular dementia amongst some other things.
[00:03:12] Speaker A: So what's. What's vascular dementia?
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Vascular dementia is it's more or less oxygen to the brain.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: And it's a specific type of dementia, but it has to do a lot with oxygen levels and into the brain, and it has a lot of its own behaviors with it.
My mom was a nurse her whole life. Nurses didn't do well back then, and so she was a horrible patient. And what do I know when I'm 20? I don't know anything. I think I do, but I don't know anything.
And my mom was not diagnosed for very long, and she died within a couple of years. And they believe that one of the reasons she was able to hang on so so long for a couple years was because she was a nurse. And when her meds didn't work, she knew how to tweak them.
Not that we had a clue, but.
And so that kind of changed me. You know, I. Growing up, you know, I'm lucky I had my mom until I was 20. And then my dad died as well when I was young, and I never had a mom, you know, that whole time. And, you know, I had graduated college and going to get my first job, and, you know, you don't have that person anymore.
And fast forward 20 years, when I turned 40, I wanted to do something more with my life. I wanted to do something to help people out There because trying to find caregivers for my mom was really hard.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: Can I just ask, what were you doing up until that point?
[00:04:43] Speaker B: So up into that point, when my mom passed, I worked for Agway Energy Products.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Yep. I was in their management training program.
It was at a time where they needed to have women in the program because they didn't have any women working in the program. So I was one of those woman hires.
And I learned a lot working with farmers in Agway and went through their management training program and I was a operations manager for them in their Connecticut region. Okay.
And I did that until Agwe, you know, went bankrupt. And.
And then I was in one of the worst recessions ever. And I had lots of experience working in the clothing world because I was through college, I was a waitress and I worked in a clothing store. So I ended up going to work for the Limited, who was, you know, the place to be at the time. And then I went to work for Lord and Taylor because they were building a store in Rochester and Syracuse and Albany.
And at the time we had just had like one of our 186 inches of snow winters, and they couldn't get anybody to come.
So I ended up coming and working for Lord and Taylor here.
Then I went to work for MCI Telecommunications doing sales for them. And that was when the Internet was really just taking off and pagers and telecommuting and cell phones. And so I did that for several years until they went bankrupt.
And then I stayed at home with my kids for the first couple of years, and then I went into pharmaceutical sales.
[00:06:25] Speaker A: Okay. So.
[00:06:26] Speaker B: Yeah, my path never was what I thought it would be. No.
[00:06:29] Speaker A: Well, and it kind of goes back to, you know, the whole theme of what I talk about all the time. If you're willing to, like, adapt and change and you just keep growing. Right. So, and, and what you did still develops who you are and the way that you take your past and apply it to where you are now. So not to, not to switch gears, but I was always kind of curious, like, what, where. What was your path that you came from? Because, like you said, eventually got to a point where I want to do something different.
[00:06:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:56] Speaker A: What were you doing that you want to do something different?
[00:06:57] Speaker B: So when I was working for pharmaceutical sales, you know, my kids were young and I was.
I worked in the primary care setting, which I was basically a caterer. You know, it just wasn't very rewarding.
I did well and I had really good medications to talk about, but it was not very rewarding and when they laid us all off and it was around Thanksgiving time, which is typical, they just make a phone call and all 500 of us were laid off. Yeah. I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. I need to find something with more meaning. And if that's the time where I started my own business and I said, I want to help people find good care.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:36] Speaker B: For their loved ones. So I started a home care company. Literally just started a home care company.
[00:07:41] Speaker A: Did you have to do a lot of research or did you have a lot of connections at the time?
[00:07:46] Speaker B: Had no connections. Nope. Just research. And I was a business major in school, so always had that entrepreneurial spirit in me. And, yeah, I had nothing to lose. I'm like, I'm. I'm good. My husband's like, you should do it. Do whatever, you know, he's like, very supportive. And so I started just myself and one lady. One lady German lady. And that's how it started.
[00:08:09] Speaker A: And how long ago was that?
[00:08:10] Speaker B: That was 17 years ago.
Yeah. And I ran the business for 15 years and then I sold it in January of this year. And during that time frame, I went from just myself to 70 employees.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: Oh, wow.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: And we had different divisions. We had our home care division, which specialized in dementia care and other senior care, but our niche was kind of dementia.
I also did. Oh, that's okay.
[00:08:38] Speaker A: I just wanted to say, was it planned to be dementia? Because that's how you.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: It just fell in that way. Yeah. Isn't that funny? It just kind of fell into that. And I had a kind of a niche and experience with family members and things, and it just kind of fell into that.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: And. And then we had our dementia training division that I did, and we did a lot of training for facilities and families all over the country and just, you know, love loved it. So, yeah. So I sold it in January because I really wanted to focus on living with dementia. Central New York, which is a non profit to help caregivers in seven counties to start. Just seven.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: Yeah. Just nothing like, you know, just flipping in there really slow or anything, right?
[00:09:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Not real good at slow.
[00:09:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: So.
[00:09:27] Speaker A: So obviously running a business, running a non profit is still. You're pretty much running a business. It's just a nonprofit.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: It really is.
[00:09:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:09:36] Speaker B: Well, I didn't understand that. I kept going, well, it's so much harder to run this than it was my own business.
And they're like, sheila, it is a business. You're thinking about it all wrong. And then once I switched that over. I'm like, okay, I know what to do, you know. So it's just, it's a different type of business, but it's still, still managing a business.
[00:09:56] Speaker A: How did you start the nonprofit?
[00:09:59] Speaker B: So the nonprofit started by doing a conference, a dementia conference. And we did our third one just earlier this month on October 8th.
And we, I was like, I want to do more with this. I want to make it a nonprofit. So maybe we can help families who are kind of in the middle because you have people can afford all the care they need. You have people who are Medicaid and they can get quite a bit of help and they have all the people in the middle that can't get help and they don't have enough and they're in between and they don't know where to go.
[00:10:32] Speaker A: They don't know where to go.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: So that's kind of how that all came to be. So I was like, okay. And my co founder with me was, is Melissa Murphy. She's actually the woman who bought Senior Home Care Solutions.
And it's really nice to sell your business to someone who you know is going to take care of your employees. And they're local and they care, they care about the people.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: What's the name of the home care? Just.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: So her business is called Aging Advocates and Aging Advocates is running, you know, that all underneath their umbrella because they have a whole umbrella of services they offer now because she was already in this space as a care manager. Okay. And a care management company. And now they've added different divisions.
So it worked out well. And then, so now we are, you know, moving forward. It took us about 19 months to get approved to be a nonprofit.
And we had our first fundraiser at the Woods.
We are looking to start scheduling mini summits, caregiver summits in different counties so caregivers can come and get some information.
So practical help with caregiving and then eventually be able to help provide respite dollars so they can get respite. Because being able to offer someone four hours off once a week doesn't sound like much, does it? No, but the difference it can make in that caregiver having just one four hour block of time where they know they can go do something or do nothing is just really, really where we hope to take this to the next level. So we're in the process of, of looking for grants and for our initial foundational sponsors.
So lots of things in the works. So.
[00:12:20] Speaker A: So what would you say, you know, and I know you had the fundraiser which you planned in 29 days. I keep throwing that out there because it was a great fundraiser.
[00:12:28] Speaker B: It was wonderful. And just, you know, get the word out and have people know that, you know, we're out and we're going to be doing these things.
[00:12:35] Speaker A: What does a summit look like when you say we're going to have these little mini summits?
[00:12:38] Speaker B: So a caregiver summit would be okay, so we're going to do one in each county. So we're going to do one in Onondaga, Madison, Cayuga, Cortland, Oneida, Herkimer, Oswego.
So in each of those areas we're going to get a place to do it. And there's lots of places where we can get space that holds like 20 people.
And we're going to work with the various agencies to find the caregivers, have them come in and we're going to do, we're going to bring in speakers to talk about things that are going to help them on a day to day basis. It's not going to be a lecture, it's going to be hands on.
Hands on caregiving, how to put up depends on without taking someone's pants all the way off.
Things that would be very helpful for people who are caregiving for loved one with dementia. Caregiver grief. What does that look like? Caregiver guilt. How do you deal with it? So different topics of training that we can provide more as just a support and help them find resources to get help in the areas that they're in.
[00:13:42] Speaker A: You know what, the piece that, when you're talking about that you mentioned the diaper and all those things.
[00:13:47] Speaker B: Oh, enhanced days. Only just a short session.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: Yeah, so. And I think I told you my dad wasn't diagnosed with dementia or anything. But you know, as he was declining in his health, he had definitely, you know, he had some form even though.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: It wasn't diagnosed and people aren't diagnosed as, you know. Yep.
[00:14:04] Speaker A: But you mentioned like the caregiver guilt. That's a very hard thing to explain to people.
[00:14:08] Speaker B: It is.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: You know, and, and again, very short period of time that I was taking care of my dad. But you're right, like I didn't know what to do. And it, it was kind of like this gradual thing that was happening to him and you just, you're kind of at a, at a loss. Right. And, and you feel, you know, your, your patience gets thin because you don't understand. Like this isn't the person that I was talking to even six months ago.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: Right. So those summits are Huge. But the main thing I thought of, too, is you're not alone when you have those comments. People come together and they listen, and they're a part of something that they realize.
I can only. I'm tearing up because I can imagine, like, the. The community that it forms. Right.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: And that's what happened with our conferences. The people that would come, the caregivers, would meet someone at their table and get their number, and then they would talk to each other because they had somebody who, you know, you don't know.
[00:15:02] Speaker A: What you don't know. Yeah.
[00:15:04] Speaker B: And just knowing you're someone else is having a hard time, too.
[00:15:07] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: It helps. It helps you.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:10] Speaker B: It can help you.
[00:15:11] Speaker A: So are you finding all this to be.
I hate the word. More fulfilling? Sheila, but you know what I mean, like.
[00:15:16] Speaker B: Oh, it's very fulfilling. Yeah. Yeah. Helping families with dementia has been a passion of mine ever since I turned 40.
And it's just amazing how it all goes back to my mom and family members and how one thing in your life can change your whole trajectory. It's amazing, isn't it? It is.
[00:15:35] Speaker A: And I mean, you for 20. The 20 years that you were doing other things, just really was building your character, your business knowledge to allow you to have the skills and the connections even.
[00:15:45] Speaker B: Right. Absolutely.
[00:15:46] Speaker A: To make what you're doing now. I just. I say this all the time, but I look at people that I hate, they're like, I hate my job. I don't like where my life is going. And I wish for them that courage to just take a step towards what it is that they think would be more fulfilling, because.
[00:16:01] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: When you're doing what you're passionate about, you know, I don't like the.
[00:16:05] Speaker B: Doesn't feel as much like a job.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: Yeah, it doesn't.
[00:16:07] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: You know, it just. And you can enjoy it. Like, there's tough days, and it's scary.
[00:16:12] Speaker B: It is scary to change what you're doing and do something new.
[00:16:16] Speaker A: Right. And, you know, there's. I don't know if you've ever had any business coaches. I talk to people all the time, and I'm going through, like, the John Maxwell stuff, and one of his coaches, Valerie, had said today, if you are scared of the next step, then that means you're in your comfort zone. And if you're in your comfort zone, that's great. But think of if you are somebody who really does want to help people, if you get out of your comfort zone, what's the next thing that you could. Could do?
[00:16:40] Speaker B: Could do?
[00:16:41] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. And it is, but it is scary. But then it's even more rewarding because you put yourself out there a little bit more to help people.
[00:16:48] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. So it's. It's exciting, you know, and we're really on the ground floor, so it's a lot of work for nonprofit. When you're on the ground floor and you're really getting started, the support that.
[00:16:59] Speaker A: You have in the community, I. I say, like, central New York, I talk about Baldwin a lot, but really, central New York, there's a lot of support. When I got into this industry about 10 years ago, I think I started with people who were on that ground floor, and I look to see where they are now. It's a lot of people that I have on this. This show.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: Right.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: Yeah. In this podcast, just hear, like, what actually can happen in five, 10 years and the changes you can make in your life. What do you think the next. Like, you're setting up the summits. What do you. What do you think past the summit? Have you guys looked that far? Do you have a vision past that?
[00:17:34] Speaker B: Or you just so really developing the respite piece because that's going to be very labor and time intensive and financially intensive because basically families will be coming to us and saying, you know, I'm interested in getting a caregiver to help me get some time off and putting them with the right people, finding the company that can support them or the day program that could give them respite and partnering them up with different places, because every county's different. What they have to offer.
So knowing who to. Who to reach out to and say, here are your options in this county.
Here are options in this county, and being able to share that information with them so that they can, you know, say, okay, I'm comfortable with this, but maybe not this, and go from there.
[00:18:21] Speaker A: And it's all personal. It's like, you can't have, like, a square box and everybody fit into that.
[00:18:26] Speaker B: Absolutely not. Because if you know one person with dementia, you only know one person with dementia.
[00:18:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:31] Speaker B: Not consistent.
[00:18:33] Speaker A: Is there something else in the community or another part of the message? We haven't talked about that. You kind of want to get out there to people for them to know or ways that we can help you.
[00:18:42] Speaker B: So I think the biggest thing is continuing to raise awareness that we exist, because right now, you know, we have a board and any emails that come in, there's a. There's three of us that answer those emails and such. And as we grow, so finding us is important. You know, following Us on Facebook, Living with Dementia cny going to our website and that's info at.
Hang on, sorry.
Too many websites in my brain right now. So it's living with dementia cny.org.org. yeah.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: Is there a link or something for donations at any time or do you have to have like kind of an event for people?
[00:19:26] Speaker B: There's a button on the website anytime anybody can donate.
So livingwithdementiacny.org is our website.
[00:19:33] Speaker A: When do you think your goal is to have the first summit in one of these counties?
[00:19:37] Speaker B: Our first. Our goal to do the first one is going to be in February.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: Oh, wow. What county is that going to be in?
[00:19:43] Speaker B: So it's going to depend.
So we have some different funding things that are coming in, but it's probably going to be in Onondaga, Oswego or Madison. Those will probably be the first three.
[00:19:55] Speaker A: Okay, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna follow you. I'll follow you through this page too. And then share when you're having those summits. Because it's one thing for people to hear us and get this information, but then to follow along and then they can pass that along to the people that they know need it.
[00:20:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And if they reach out to us on the website and say, you know, I live in this county, but I'm interested in the services that are going to be available in maybe more than one county that we can put them on the right mailing list so that when we have those things come out in those counties, we can send them the email. We're not inundating with emails, but just so that they know. Because as a non profit, it's sometimes hard to get your, your name out there. And we're very fortunate. Our Office of the Agings are really good about getting information out to people. And generally speaking, you know, anyone who's helping seniors is good about trying to share the messages.
[00:20:48] Speaker A: I was going to say.
[00:20:48] Speaker B: And what's happening.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: I was going to.
There's a couple people they came across and that's. And that's what they said. Part of the problem is even if there are resources, people don't even know the resources are there.
[00:20:57] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:20:58] Speaker A: How to get to the resources. Yeah, so. Well, I told you this numerous times now, but I appreciate everything that you're doing and thanks.
[00:21:06] Speaker B: Me too.
I love it.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: And if it's, you know, and we're.
[00:21:10] Speaker B: Growing, you know, we're in the process of growing and eventually you want to have a whole volunteer network that can help us and I've had some people say, hey, when you do stuff in Oswego, I'd like to be a volunteer to help at that summit and, you know, check people in or do whatever.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:26] Speaker B: So.
[00:21:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:27] Speaker B: In having people to help with that. And.
[00:21:30] Speaker A: Well, I think there's a lot of people out there, like. Like yourself, who had a close family member that they cared about.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: And they watch them struggle, and they do want to find a way to give back and help other people, so.
[00:21:40] Speaker B: And this could be one of those ways. Yes.
[00:21:44] Speaker A: So. Well, I appreciate you being on the show. Yes.
[00:21:46] Speaker B: I appreciate you having me.
It's been wonderful.
[00:21:49] Speaker A: It has been wonderful. And I'm gonna try and make the Rotary meeting tomorrow just to continue, because the one thing that at least I find and you probably do is you have a different crowd every time you speak.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: We do.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: Things come up.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: And you said, I tweak it.
[00:22:02] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna tweak it.
[00:22:03] Speaker B: I changed the whole presentation last time. I'm like, this group needs this. I don't need this.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: And that's the difference when you know it and you live it and you breathe it, as opposed to when it's just a script and a PowerPoint.
[00:22:14] Speaker B: We want it to be helpful.
So. And I think that's the goal. And, you know, talking about brain health and brain wellness and different things that are out there, it was wonderful because there were a lot of questions. We went way over time at the end because people had lots of questions, which is great.
[00:22:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:31] Speaker B: No, so very engaged. But, yeah, you know, that's just it. When you speak with people, you can't just do your presentation. You've got to make sure that there's interaction for it to be beneficial for.
[00:22:42] Speaker A: Both, because otherwise they don't listen. It's in one ear and out.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Because it doesn't mean anything to them. If it does, it's not relevant to their situation.
[00:22:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: So. Yeah. So I'm looking forward to it.
[00:22:51] Speaker A: Nice. So I will put your website on the podcast description. So anybody that's listening to the podcast, you can go to the description and get that. And then, as Sheila mentioned, follow them on. On Facebook. And then that way you stay on top of what they're doing and ways that you can help people that are in your life that might be struggling with this as well.
[00:23:08] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:23:09] Speaker A: Well, thank you very much.
[00:23:10] Speaker B: Thank you. I appreciate.
